I’m getting worse at pretending

Pretending I enjoy conversations I don’t. Pretending someone’s title makes them interesting. Pretending every relationship needs to lead somewhere. Pretending I care about things because I’m apparently supposed to. And pretending everything is great when it isn’t.

Maybe I’m just getting old. Corrie would probably say that’s part of it. But I think there’s something else going on.

I just care a lot less about playing the game than I used to.

I’ve spent a lot of my life chasing things, some of them pretty big. I wanted to be a Green Beret. I wanted to finish college. Then I wanted to go to Cornell. I wanted to build a career after the Army. Now Corrie and I are building Liberty Speaks and Not Special.

I’m still ambitious. Probably too ambitious sometimes. See Corrie, I do realize that.

That part of me hasn’t changed. What has changed is how much I’m willing to pretend along the way.

I used to think being successful meant you had to play the game. Go to the right events. Meet the right people. Shake hands. Talk about what you do. Listen to someone else talk about what they do. Then both of you walk away trying to figure out if the conversation was worth anything.

I’m not very good at that anymore. Maybe I never was.

These days, I pay a lot more attention to the people I actually enjoy being around. They’re usually pretty easy to spot. They’re real. They don’t need you to know how important they are, and they don’t care that much about your title either.

You just talk.

Some of the best relationships Corrie and I have, started with conversations that weren't supposed to lead anywhere. Funny enough, some of the best opportunities have too.

There’s probably a lesson in there.

I also care a lot less about being in every room. That one took me a while. There was a time when I probably would have gone somewhere simply because I thought I was supposed to be there.

Now? Sometimes I’d rather go home. Sometimes I’d rather sit on the couch with Corrie. Sometimes I’d rather drive a few extra hours to have lunch with one of our kids. Sometimes I’d rather spend time with people I actually like.

I don’t think that means I’ve become less ambitious. I think I’ve finally started understanding what all that ambition is supposed to be for.

Because pretending costs something.

Mostly time.

And I’m becoming a lot more protective of mine.

I still want to accomplish a lot. There are still rooms I want to be in, people I want to meet, and things I want to build. I’m just less interested in pretending any of it matters more than it actually does.

If I like you, you’ll probably know it. If I believe in something, I’ll tell you. If I don’t know something, I’m pretty comfortable saying I don’t know.

And if I think something is bullshit, I’m getting increasingly bad at hiding that.

Corrie can confirm that one. She knows what meetings to keep me out of.

Maybe getting older is part of it. But I hope I keep getting worse at pretending.

Because the less I do it, the more time I seem to have for the people and things I actually care about.

And those are the things that were worth chasing all along.

Liberty Speaks Update:

A big congrats to Randy Grimes for crushing his speaking engagement at the Pay It Forward SA luncheon. We're excited that our speakers were booked for six upcoming speaking engagements and for our content creators who signed deals with Amazon, pHastr, DegreeDash, and Travel + Leisure Co. in the last two weeks.

We’re excited to welcome Nick Palmisciano to the Liberty Speaks roster. Nick is an entrepreneur, filmmaker, author, and Army veteran who has spent his career building things that bring people together and make an impact.

If you’d like to explore a speaking engagement, content collaboration, brand partnership, or advisory relationship, reach out to Corrie Thompson at info@libertyspeaks.com.

We’d love to learn more about your organization and discuss how we can help.

Not Special Update:

The Battle That Nearly Killed This Green Beret

Green Beret Dave Kenney spent more than two decades in U.S. Army Special Forces, deploying around the world and serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and beyond. But after years of combat, traumatic brain injuries, PTSD, and life as a Green Beret, the fight that nearly killed him came after the uniform.

Dave opens up about Army Special Forces, combat, PTSD, alcoholism, addiction, suicide, veteran mental health, divorce, military transition, faith, fatherhood, and rebuilding his life after hitting rock bottom. Dave's drinking eventually reached two fifths of vodka a day. His marriage ended. His relationship with his children suffered. After years of alcohol abuse, his health deteriorated so severely that doctors told him there was little more they could do.

Hidden nugget: He was sent home from the hospital to die, he didn't.

He Was Told He'd Never Work Again. Then He Became a Filmmaker.

The Army botched Cameron Cushman's surgery. What followed changed nearly every part of his life. Cameron Cushman is an Army veteran, Afghanistan veteran, filmmaker, and documentary producer whose life changed after a surgery at Fort Hood led to years of serious medical complications. Cameron shares his experience with military medical care, gastroparesis, chronic illness, anxiety, veteran mental health, and being told he might never work again. But that isn’t where his story ends.

Hidden nugget: Cameron shares how a river helped him rediscover himself and find a way forward after his life changed forever.

We are so grateful for the partners who helped us bring this Montana series to life. GOVX, loanDepot, Alliance Nationwide Exposition, and Bellator Recruiting Academy believed in what we were doing and helped us go make it happen.

A quick follow, rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify helps more people discover Not Special and the stories our guests trust us to share.

If you read this far, you are a champion!